I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
