I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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