Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
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