ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
