420 ftw
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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