I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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