Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You are the jesus of drinking
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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