Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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