even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
