i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
