I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
