So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Let's paint friendship bongs
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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