Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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