Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
