careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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