I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
