so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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