She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
