Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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