we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
