I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
