went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
How external is "for external use only"?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
