Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
