I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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