absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
