IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
