i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize