there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She's the barista slut.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
