These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
