Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
