he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
