If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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