And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize