NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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