I wish I could punch you in the face.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
