I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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