This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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