Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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