just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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