He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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