sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
