from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just tell him i said nine months
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
