i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize