How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
