there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
