I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
