Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize
