we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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