is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
