This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
