Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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