It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
