I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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