What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
