i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
