i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
