Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
So squirting runs in the family.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
i out mim tonsoeep
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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