I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think my fart just growled at me.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Randomize
