Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
