Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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