I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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