He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
