Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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