He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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